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Meet the Band

Dave

Lead Vocals / Guitar / Founder / Supreme Leader

Former Punk Rock Icon. Current Middle Management Nightmare.

Dave of Corporate Stiffs
Personnel file

Dave is the founding member, self-appointed visionary, and undisputed dictator of Corporate Stiffs, a band he created specifically to avoid the inconvenience of being in a band.

A veteran of reggae, classic rock, and the underground punk scene, Dave first rose to marginal obscurity as the drummer for the legendary punk outfit Gluebag, a band whose cultural impact is still being assessed by people who were actually there.

Having once experienced the intoxicating thrill of performing for dozens of people, Dave eventually realized that rock-and-roll glory doesn't come with dental insurance.

He traded his drumsticks for a guitar, a microphone, and a corporate paycheck, and founded Corporate Stiffs on one nonnegotiable principle: We are never playing another fucking gig.

This philosophy has created significant tension with current drummer Rich, who mistakenly believes Corporate Stiffs are a legitimate musical enterprise. Dave regularly reminds Rich that he himself is an accomplished drummer and can replace him at any moment.

It's a leadership strategy borrowed directly from the corporate world: establish dominance, create insecurity, and call it team building.

Dave considers himself the musical and spiritual leader of the group despite having no business plan, no original material, and no discernible path to commercial success.

His long-term vision includes a sold-out European tour, a lucrative record deal, and a documentary chronicling the band's rise to fame.

His short-term vision includes getting through three songs without Rich playing during the conversation.

Career highlight
Gluebag. Look it up. Actually, don't.
Biggest fear
Someone actually books the band.
Management philosophy
My garage. My rules. My drum throne if necessary.
Current availability
Not accepting gigs, offers, or constructive criticism.

Also in the band

Craig
Classically Trained. Professionally Employed. Emotionally Unavailable for Gigs.
Rich
The Only Guy Who Didn't Read the Band's Mission Statement.
Shawn
Heavy Metal Mercenary. Questionable Background. Surprisingly Employable.